School is in session and that means…GRADES!   Whether your children tend to earn A’s, B’s, C’s, or F’s, children often define “who they are” based on the grades they receive.   “I’m an A-student” “I’m not very smart” “I’m an average student”   It's unfortunate when children identify themselves based on grades, as it can have a detrimental impact on their self-esteem, even for those with a consistent "A" average. This is because receiving an "A" grade may make them feel great about themselves, while receiving a "C" grade may cause them to feel down on themselves. This cycle can create yo-yo self-esteem, as we've noted in earlier articles. The question then arises, how can we talk to our children about grades without having an adverse effect on their self-esteem? The answer lies in viewing grades as feedback. Feedback is the result of an action taken, and it is simply a measure of how well a student has learned the material. Grades do not determine...

                             What type of grownup do you want    your child to become?     I was asked this question several years ago and it was a very powerful question for me so I wanted to share it with you.     Like you, I was already an engaged and connected parent; however, taking a few minutes to actually write down my vision for my kids enabled me to see areas where I was spending a lot of time and areas where I wanted to focus more.     Although we can’t guarantee how our kids will “turn out”, every interaction we have with them do es shape their lives – espe cially when they are young and their core thoughts and belief systems are being formed.     I would like to invite you to spend about 10 minutes today thinking about this question and creating a vision for your parenting if you don’t already have one.      As part of the exercise, you...

                 Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?                                        Part 2   In the last article we asked the question, does your child have yo-yo self-esteem?  Recall that Yo-yo self-esteem occurs when children’s self esteem rises and falls with the ups and downs of their lives (i.e. how they did in school, played in their soccer game, etc.).   We talked about how important it is for children to base their self-esteem on who they are and not on what is happening outside of them so that their self-esteem remains intact no matter what is going on in their lives.      Today we’ll learn three additional tips for supporting your kids in developing solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:   • The fourth tip is to encourage your kids to identify and hon...

  Yo-Yo Self-Esteem? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the grades she makes? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day? Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if he makes a mistake?   If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem -- self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life.  Ultimately,  children feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them .   However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life).   Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you -- who you are and how you think about yourself.      When children base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives.    So if your child have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help...