Skip to main content

Posts

“I’m the boss of me!”

                                 “I’m the boss of me!”   Have you ever heard your child say these words?     I bet you have…and probably with an attitude mixed in!   These words can trigger a power struggle in many families as parents’ automatic first thought is often, “Oh no you’re not!”   But what if your answer was….   “You’re right!  You are the boss of you.”   BAM   No power struggle …   …and a huge teachable moment!   All people like to feel powerful and in control – even kids.    Children often feel like victims in their lives because they see grownups as having all of the power – their parents tell them what to do; their teachers tell them what to do; their coaches tell them what to do.   Teaching your kids how to be the boss of themselves enables them to step into their power, enhance their self-esteem, and build self-confidence.    Here are just a couple of tips to share with your kids about being their own boss.     1.      First, being the boss doesn’t mean being bossy.    
Recent posts

How to talk with your kids about grades

  School is in session and that means…GRADES!   Whether your children tend to earn A’s, B’s, C’s, or F’s, children often define “who they are” based on the grades they receive.   “I’m an A-student” “I’m not very smart” “I’m an average student”   It's unfortunate when children identify themselves based on grades, as it can have a detrimental impact on their self-esteem, even for those with a consistent "A" average. This is because receiving an "A" grade may make them feel great about themselves, while receiving a "C" grade may cause them to feel down on themselves. This cycle can create yo-yo self-esteem, as we've noted in earlier articles. The question then arises, how can we talk to our children about grades without having an adverse effect on their self-esteem? The answer lies in viewing grades as feedback. Feedback is the result of an action taken, and it is simply a measure of how well a student has learned the material. Grades do not determine

What type of grownup do you want your child to become?

                             What type of grownup do you want    your child to become?     I was asked this question several years ago and it was a very powerful question for me so I wanted to share it with you.     Like you, I was already an engaged and connected parent; however, taking a few minutes to actually write down my vision for my kids enabled me to see areas where I was spending a lot of time and areas where I wanted to focus more.     Although we can’t guarantee how our kids will “turn out”, every interaction we have with them do es shape their lives – espe cially when they are young and their core thoughts and belief systems are being formed.     I would like to invite you to spend about 10 minutes today thinking about this question and creating a vision for your parenting if you don’t already have one.      As part of the exercise, you may want to use the “Balance Wheel”.  The Balance Wheel is a coaching tool that is used to assess various areas of your life for balance –

Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem? Part 2

                 Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?                                        Part 2   In the last article we asked the question, does your child have yo-yo self-esteem?  Recall that Yo-yo self-esteem occurs when children’s self esteem rises and falls with the ups and downs of their lives (i.e. how they did in school, played in their soccer game, etc.).   We talked about how important it is for children to base their self-esteem on who they are and not on what is happening outside of them so that their self-esteem remains intact no matter what is going on in their lives.      Today we’ll learn three additional tips for supporting your kids in developing solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:   • The fourth tip is to encourage your kids to identify and honor their own uniqueness.  We are all unique in our own special way.  Have your kids brainstorm what they love about themselves – from their values, to their character, to their gi

Our Overcoming People Pleasing Habits

I was the people-pleaser for most of my life until Igot sick of being in a cycle of burning out. Iconstantly gave too much of myself away, leaving little left to keep me going. Iknew Ididn't want to spend the rest of my life living in a way that was so damaging to my sense of worth and identity. I finally, started a process of addressing this, when I hired a life coach who managed to take me on amagnificent mindfulness journey. Iwas able to find my authentic self and started enjoying my life free of people pleasing habits, Fast forwarding to now, I decided to train to become a life coach to ensure I was able to assist my clients at deeper level. I have interwoven my educational insight and experience as an educator/children certified WISDOM life coach, along with my training and personal learning, to create this simple yet effective course to help you overcome your people pleasing habits. I haven't designed this course to stop you from being nice, not at all!! Nor will you sud

Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?

  Yo-Yo Self-Esteem? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the grades she makes? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day? Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if he makes a mistake?   If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem -- self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life.  Ultimately,  children feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them .   However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life).   Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you -- who you are and how you think about yourself.      When children base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives.    So if your child have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus?   Here a